How does your culture shape your perception of strength? I think I grew up in a culture that did have some "scripts" written out for males and females, most were good, some were limiting. I think growing up around the broad culture I did start to see more and more female entrepreneurs, women who were moms and leaders and though leaders. I've seen strength abused, where people get controlling and bitter, and I've seen strength squashed, with people who don't exercise their voice or their voice is taken away. I think finding the cultural examples of women who use their strength well has been very helpful. Anyone from Chrissy Tiegen to Christine Caine, to Kristen Bell. People who use their excellence to benefit other people.
How have your trials made you stronger? About 3.5 years ago, I walked through my mom being on Hospice and battling cancer. She ultimately lost her battle to cancer December 2017. What is interesting as I look back is, some of the ways that season was rich with both grief and sorrow. I learned to befriend grief (which since I'm a "7" on the Enneagram, that is a huge deal for me personally), and not see sadness as my enemy. To learn how much joy and pain are intertwined--when I had the courage to grieve the loss, before people and before God, I was really honest. That allowed me to move THROUGH the pain, instead of around. And that allowed me to find joy again as well.
What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? To be willing to invest in the long game. Growth, strength, and leadership is born through experience, testing, and time. If you surround yourself by like hearted people, that will also pull you to invest in the habits that keep you strong. Also, just like any race, pace yourself. We have grand ideas to change the world, but forget we need to invest in small habits like finances, making your bed, and creating a morning routine. Create small habits that allow you to do big things--without burning out before the race is done.
Debbie’s Intentional Act of Kindness
How did you use the $100? So this is how I'm going to use my $100 (tomorrow!). One of my dear friends just moved to my state from across the country. She needed a fresh start, and a new town, and northern California and its coastal beauty won her over. She's been working long hours, and she also doesn't know many people. I am gifting her $100 and sending her on a "day adventure" to help her get ready for a crazy summer (working at a summer camp). She's really tight on money and moved cross country, and is living a super rustic run down apartment after being out of work for about 6 months due to Covid. She just needs some basic things to get ready for summer, and I love planning adventures. I'm going to print up a list of fun things to do in San Jose and give her the $100 after she drops me off at the airport as a surprise.
What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? It is really fun to plan! I love planning adventures and I've been so busy I haven't had time. I'm thrilled to be doing this for another person.