How did/does family shape your perception of strength? I grew up in a family with very strong women. My great grandmother lived until she was 100 and very much ruled our family. She did so with dignity, grace, and an unwavering devotion to Jesus. We all tried to live up to her example. She was a hard worker, running a farm into her 90s. She was slow to speak and when she did, you knew you better listen - it was sure to be words of wisdom or an unexpected joke.
When she died, my family fell apart. My grandfather, her son, quickly began showing signs of dementia, an uncle left his wife, a cousin abandoned his family, secrets of sexual abuse among the family were finally shared, uncles and aunts exploded at each other and some still don't speak to each other 16 years later.
I began to understand that my 'God fearing family' didn't fear God, they feared Grandma's disapproval.
What keeps you strong in times of trial? Jesus, hands down, 100% Jesus keeps me strong.
How have your trials made you stronger? I was sexually abused as a young kid. I was old enough to understand that what was happening was wrong, but not old enough to know that I could fight for myself or say no to someone who I'd been told to respect. I remember thinking 'my mom is going to be so mad at me,' and shame set in. I spent most of my childhood living with a deep sense of shame and tried hard to hide all that felt messed up inside.
In my early 20s I began to experience heavy spiritual attack. I was afraid, confused, and calling out to God to make it all stop. As I prayed I felt God say "tell someone." I knew exactly what He was referring to, exactly what I had to share. I was terrified to open up. I finally shared with three close girl friends; the unanimous response was 'me too, and I've never been able to tell anyone.' I know that's a trending response right now, but 17 years ago it was not.
In sharing with others, I found freedom from my shame and I found that opening up about my pain could help others find freedom as well. Throughout the next few years, I experienced the 'nudge' to share my trials with others and EVERY time someone opened up 'for the first time.' I became thankful for that particular trial and the chance to see shame turn into freedom. I've tried to carry that into the rest of my life - being honest with things that, if kept inside, could create shame. I also became a fighter - I will fight for myself against abusive authority and I will fight for others.
Bethany’s Intentional Act of Kindness
How did you use your $100? I gave my $100 to a friend from high school. She is a mother of five kids who has been dealing with a lot lately. Her oldest, a 12 year old, has been suffering from intestinal issues for years and has been undergoing a series of surgeries to correct it. They are facing a lot of medical debt as well as personal debt as they have made many sacrifices to get him to all of his necessary appointments. $100 is just a drop in the bucket but as I shared their go-fund-me online, I saw three others donate based on my share. It was amazing to see how my donation encouraged others to give as well. This family had been on my heart for a while but I had always hesitated, feeling like the little I would give wouldn't go far enough. I was wrong. Every little bit helps and my actions can encourage others to act as well.
What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was more difficult that I thought it would be. I feel like I hear of so many needs each day and it was not easy choosing. It was amazing to have the opportunity to have $100 set aside that I was required to give. It helped me see past all the excuses and rationalizations for not giving to a certain 'cause' or need. I had to give the money away - it wasn't mine to keep. It has changed the way that I now treat our finances. I have given more away these past few months than I have in a long time.