What does "being strong" mean to you? Over the years the definition of “strong” has changed. When I was young and an athlete, strong meant winning and being in the best shape to compete. College and beyond, being strong took on a different meaning. After graduating from UCLA, I wanted to build my resume and being strong was all about creating new adventures like traveling Europe with girlfriends and working in the White House away from family and friends. Strength was also facing fears. Throughout my life, I was always car sick and airplane sick. I would throw up on long roadtrips and always in an airplane. When I sat down and buckled my seatbelt on an airplane, the next thing I did was find the white bags hidden in the pouch in front of the seat in case it was turbulent. I decided that I must be strong and conquer my fear, so I signed up to get my private pilot’s license. I was one of just a few females in the program. I spent almost a year between ground school and then hours needed in the air to receive my pilot’s license. When I was flying an airplane, I did not get sick. Understanding how the airplane actually gained flight brought me a sense of confidence, and for the last 35 years, I have never gotten sick on a commercial flight again. Hallelujah!!
Being strong changed once again when I had three beautiful children. My strength went back to a physical strength and most days, enduring sleep deprivation, while at the same time, enjoying a houseful of energetic, fun and precious kids. Once my children entered kindergarten, my mindset changed. Being blessed with raising children was now not about me. It was not about my physical strength or adventures I wanted to put on my resume. These three lives were now my focus, and I quickly had to decide where I would draw my strength from. I was a solid Believer in Jesus Christ, but that was not enough. I needed to know “who” I was in Christ so I could emulate the characteristics of God to my children. As I searched the Scriptures and memorized various passages, it was evident that real strength was about sacrifice. Sacrifice is “the act of giving up something that you want to keep, in order to help someone.” My children would be my legacy. I wanted to pour everything into them and create a standard of Truth that would be their guiding light. The standard of Truth my husband and I chose was the Word of God. As we grew as a family, we treasured time together. In our home we created special events each week and month from Friday Night Movie NIghts with pizza to incredible traditions for each holiday. We celebrated all achievements and came together during failures. Our strength was and continues to be rooted in the Lord.
To me, a strong woman is defined as someone filled with love, devoted to family, sacrificial in her actions, and never wavering in her standard of Truth.
How does family shape your perception of strength? “Family” is my strength! I grew up in a Christ-centered home with parents who were committed to one another through thick and thin. When my Dad passed away a few years ago, my parents had been married almost 65 years. Their marriage is part of my family legacy of longevity and staying true to promises made. I remember when I was little and my parents were arguing about something really petty. My Mom would not let it go, so my Dad simply backed off, told her he loved her and that was that. Later in the evening, I asked my Dad why he let her “win” and did not give his side of the situation. He said, “My wife is more important than any argument. We are a family and I don’t need to be right!” This was the beginning of my understanding of what strength looked like in a family, how it needed to be displayed and why it was necessary for the family unit. Strength is knowing you may be correct, but nobody in the family needs to know! Strength is LOVE!
Being a Mom has and will continue to be the greatest treasure in my life. When my first child was born, I knew the process of deciding what my standard of Truth would be was imminent. I had to know who I was and what kind of Mom I wanted to be to my child. As with all young Mom’s, I started with analyzing the strengths of my childhood family -- the values instilled, the precious moments that are forever etched in my heart, the significant relationships and the way conflict was handled. All of these issues swirled in my brain -- I wanted my family to be strong and courageous, I wanted us to serve others well, but most important, I wanted my family to LOVE! A family is strong when they are centered on LOVE. I am strong when I am rooted in love and know how to give it as well as receive it.
About four years ago, I went through a difficult situation. My husband and three grown children gathered around me like warriors. Together we were strong. My family was my strength!
What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? Be ready for battle! Be warriors for your family. Be an advocate for someone who needs a voice and stand firm in "who" you are, not "what" you have mastered. In the Book of Ephesians, Chapter 6, verses 10-18, the apostle Paul tells us how to get ready for battle. Preparation is everything because difficulty will come our way. Paul vividly describes in detail, what it means to armor up with the various pieces of equipment necessary to win in battle. We need our helmet of Salvation to understand who we are; the breastplate of Righteousness to know who we belong to; the belt of Truth around our waist to keep us stable; for protection, we will have our great shield of Faith which protects us in situations where we do not understand or cannot see the outcome; Paul talks about the sharp sword we will boldly have pointed outwardly in our hand which is the Word of God, the Bible; and on our feet will be shoes of peace. Take each one of these areas and ponder their significance. Take a personal inventory of which part of the armor you understand and is healthy, and which section of your battle preparation is weak and an area where a negative foothold can begin. In our daily lives, we must be marked by love, make solid decisions and weigh the associated consequences, focus our minds on what is healthy, and not read and participate in hurtful dialogue. It is important to know that we were created by God, trust in the plans He has for us, be the giver of peace to others with encouraging and uplifting words, and finally, know the Bible. Invest and read the words from a God who LOVES you , knows your name, and is the same yesterday, today and forever.
When I was a young Mama of three babies, I read a life changing book called “Watchmen on the Walls.” It was a small book about praying for specific qualities such as kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, wisdom and more over your children. Reading through the pages, I found myself moved as it described a guard standing on the wall of a city ready to protect the people inside. The watchman was fervent in being attentive to his surroundings with an understanding of what may come upon his city and hurt the people inside. He stood there night after night ready for battle! As a Mom, I wanted and needed to be that protector for my children, praying earnestly for each one of them every day, knowing what or who could harm them and sacrificing time to battle for their souls. The “battle” is incredible and worth the minutes, days and years it takes to teach the qualities of being a warrior, a warrior for God.
Lisa’s Intentional Act of Kindness
How did you use the $100? When I received the $100 and was instructed to bless someone, I was super excited. As I prayed about it, I wanted to have my eyes opened to how God wanted me to use it. One afternoon, I came out of a store in a small strip mall area. I saw a lady rearranging some things in the back end of her car. But what caught my attention was the beautiful cat that reclined on the front dash of the car. It was warm out and the cat was definitely enjoying the sun. Being an animal lover, I asked the woman if her cat liked the car (thinkinging about my own furry cat who would be completely freaked out!). She came around the side of the car from where she was packing and said, "He does, but right now he has to." I didn't understand and followed up by asking her if she was traveling through the area. She kindly shared that they were "homeless" and in between places to live. She explained that the cat loved her and would go anywhere she went, but he enjoyed when they had the money for a hotel room every now and then so he could run around. I asked her how much a hotel room was. The woman, with sweet eyes, said that she could find them for $50/night. I told her to wait a minute. I kept the $100 in my car glove box. As I went to get the money, I prayed she would receive the gift. I came back and said I would like to give her money for two nights in a motel for her and her cat. She was speechless with tears running down her face. No words needed to be spoken because I could physically see how blessed she was with the money. The cat attracted me to the car, but the Lord wanted to bless this woman. After our time, I smiled and thanked God that he used an unassuming cat to draw me into His plan.
What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? This "Intentional Act of Kindness" process was a beautiful reminder that we must continually look for how we can bless others. I think having the $100 physically with me and designated for someone else in need, encouraged me to be on the lookout. Yesterday, I had just finished my grocery shopping and was unloading my bags into the car when a man approached me. He asked if I had a few dollars to give him. I looked to see if I had any cash and I did not. I asked him what he needed and he said some cereal and milk. So, I put the rest of my groceries in the car and said, "Let's go back to the store." I walked around the store with "Vincent" and we found the Lucky Charms and milk he wanted. As we walked to find bowls and spoons, I learned that he loves sweets. We found the other items and then I asked him if he needed anything else. He said this was great. I bagged his groceries for him and told him he was loved by God. I will never forget Vincent and I will never forget how we must seek out "Intentional Acts of Kindness." If we are walking around with a posture of kindness these will not be "random acts," but they will definitely be "intentional."