How does family shape your perception of strength? My family is the foundation and definition of strength for me. Both of my parents emigrated from the Philippines, and both worked extremely hard to survive, and build a life and family together here in the States. My dad always worked in physical labor - from being a farmer in the mango fields in the Philippines to the dangerous king crab seas in Alaska. My mom was a true born hustler, working as a pianist to a swim instructor at the Naval Base in the Philippines to pushing carts in the snow at Sam’s Club as her first job in the States, to 20 years as a lab technician, now she’s a realtor and caretaker. She can’t be stopped! My dad lived a fulfilled life and passed away at 95. Both hugely shaped my perception of strength (mentally, spiritually, relationally, physically) from a very early age.
How can you be strong and vulnerable? One of the most memorable comments I received in therapy was, “[It’s okay to be sad and happy simultaneously, two emotions can exist. One is not better than the other. You don’t have to feel or choose between your emotions, it’s okay to feel both.]” That’s how I initially felt reading the question, when in actuality, it takes real strength to be vulnerable. To bring your whole self into consideration, that is being strong. It feels one in the same.
How do you encourage other women to be strong? I will always be your biggest cheerleader (in varsity softball, I was always voted Most Spirited), so when you need encouragement to be strong, my method is to remind you about all of the millions of times I know you’ve been strong. My goal is to be your rear view mirror - when you forget, can’t see, or need a reminder about how kick ass you are, I’ll be ready to remind you. :) I’m that girl friend. Sometimes it can even turn into a motivational speech because I will always see the best in someone and genuinely believe it. To be frank, I believe I can do this better for others than for myself. Another memorable question I received in therapy was, “if you were talking to your girl friend right now and she told you everything you just told me, what would you tell her? How would you respond?” The advice is to talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best girl friend. Be kind to yourself.
Abi’s Intentional Act of Kindness
How did you use the $100? For 1 week, we only ate and shopped at local brown and Black businesses. "All money in", the Great Nipsey Hussle once said. It's important to me to invest in and bring money back into the community.
What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? It was initially hard because, how can you choose? $100 with today's inflation can seem so little, but in reality, is so meaningful for so many people. The hardest part was not having enough $ to bless more folks with!