How does family shape your perception of strength? I did not grow up with a strong nuclear family. Instead, I had my grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandaunts, first cousins once removed - the list goes on. I drew strength from the countless people in my life whom each provided some bit of themselves to help sustain my brothers and me through many challenging years. It is through all these individuals, that I experienced firsthand the synergistic power of strength. We are stronger when we both lean on and prop up those around us. And you never have to give everything, but every bit does matter.
Who is a female role model in your life and why? My grandmother was the strongest person I knew. She taught me what it meant to live a life serving others. I watched her grieve after my father - her only son - passed, but she never let this hurt get in the way of caring for her four grandchildren who needed her now more than ever. Her pain peeked through in how she continued to cook my father's favorite meals or held on to his old passports and licenses. Despite her evident suffering, there wasn't a single need that my brothers and I had that she did not prioritize and try her best to fulfill. She spent the rest of her life caring for us and through the pain, managed to teach us great lessons about gratitude, humility, and empathy.
How can you be strong and vulnerable? The Asian culture encourages individuals to control and suppress their emotional expressions. It has taken me years to unlearn this practice and understand the benefits of communicating feelings and expressing needs. If you do not share your needs, you then become the only person aware and capable of fulfilling them, and it begins to feel like a very lonely world when you come to rely on just yourself. By inviting others to share in this load, you allow yourself to be built up by another person, an act that can foster a powerful relationship between humans.
What’s one thing someone could do today to make them stronger? We can all benefit from being mindful, communicating more clearly, and letting our intentions be known. From my experience, communication often breaks down when two parties make incorrect assumptions and do not dispel them. Assumptions are a natural tendency in human exchange which can greatly help to make conversations more efficient but can also break down an interaction if two people are not aligned. Something we can all do when we feel we are losing someone in a conversation is clarify our assumptions and share what we were hoping to get out of the interaction. Clear communication and tight alignment help to strengthen working relationships.
Ni’s Intentional Act of Kindness
How did you use the $100? I bought school supplies for my second grade teacher through her online wish list. I really wanted to take this opportunity to thank someone whom I have not had the opportunity to thank yet, but I know I owe much of my success. I was not always a great student. Up until the second grade, I often skipped homework assignments and did poorly on tests. My second-grade teacher was the first person who acted on my disinterest and helped to turn me around. She was the only teacher in my school who spoke Chinese and therefore could communicate with my family. By taking the time to connect with my home life and making my family aware of the issue, she helped to get the people whom I cared about invested in my academic performance.
What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? It was really rewarding to give back to this classroom and help my teacher continue to serve her students. I imagine there are others in her class, like second-grade me, who need her help and I’m hopeful that my small act of kindness will make her job just a little bit easier.