Soul 26: Lindsay

Who is a female role model in your life and why? Mother Earth. I have said this before almost as a joke, but the more I dwelled on the idea, the more I’ve come to realize she is everything I want to strive to be: resilient, adaptable, mysterious, complex, strong yet vulnerable, a provider, a healer, and someone who encourages diversity. Biomimicry is a great design solution, so why not embrace it as life's solution?

How can you be strong and vulnerable? Baring the most intimate aspects of yourself and intentionally trusting others, takes strength. And funnily enough, in those instances, others may only see how strong you are. This in turn, can continue to spread strength to others through creating a closer bond, teaching a lesson, and/or giving them the space to be vulnerable as well.

What’s one thing someone could do today to make them stronger? Sing! Find a song that lights your fire and sing/yell/rhythmically speak your heart out. It’s a little bit of vulnerability and fear mixed with a lot of good mental and physical vibrations. Hey and even in the case that singing doesn’t make you feel stronger; you will have at least strengthened your lungs!

Lindsay’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I split the $100 between the 5 local businesses which provided for their community despite the mountain of a year we had last year.

Those in the service industry repeatedly adapted their business through the pandemic, especially small local businesses. Though I did continue to support local businesses, I felt as though more of a thank you was necessary. Not only did these business provide their services but they provided sanity, love, support, and strength to their community. That is a lot to have on your shoulders along with the personal weight of the pandemic, so a small act of kindness seemed more than right.

What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? Harder than I thought it would be! For awhile, I was waiting for an opportunity to present itself but one blaring moment never came. However, this exercise 'definitely made me more observant of my surroundings when it came to those in need. Then I tried to figure out where the $100 would make the most difference but what I ultimately realized, in the end, I am not the one who decides how big of a difference the $100 would make to someone. However, this exercise made me think deeply about how many ways there is to make a difference. This process helped me reflect on the different levels of community I have surrounding me and how I want to support them in the future!

Soul 25: Anna

What does "being strong" mean to you? In the corporate environment in which I work, being a strong female often means having power. They think they have to prove they are strong by lording their power over others, by not backing down, by being cruel. After years of working under women like this, strength has taken on a different meaning to me. Now, being strong means knowing who I am and having a very clear picture of my own strengths and weaknesses. I have seen that when I have confidence in myself, there is no need to prove my strength by making others feel small. Instead, this quiet confidence and complete realness inspires others to feel comfortable just as they are, and in turn, have confidence and strength of their own.

How did/does family shape your perception of strength? My family is very in touch with their emotions. It wasn't until I started dating my fiancé and I saw how differently his family interacted, that I fully realized just how emotionally driven my family is. We never yelled or even raised our voices to each other. We were taught to be incredibly sensitive to the feelings of everyone around us, sometimes to our own detriment. Because of this, I see strength as a quiet trait. Where others might view strength as a loud and in-your-face quality, the people I think of as being the most strong are those that affect others in their quietness. My mother, for example, is the kindest, wisest, and sweetest woman you will ever meet. Her strength is found in the way that she raised a wonderful family without having a good example to follow, while working full time. My father is so tender-hearted and silly. His strength is found in the way that he worked two jobs almost his entire life to provide for us. Neither of these things are loud or noticeable. My parents didn't become CEOs when they were young, or strike it rich in the stock market, or run for political office. But the quiet way in which they have lived their ordinary lives day after day after day and put others first, makes them so strong. This is the kind of strong I want to be.

Anna’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100?  When I first found out that I would be responsible for giving away $100, I just knew that I wanted to bless the un-housed community with it. Homelessness is a huge issue for Seattle right now, so I had every intention of carrying the cash around with me until I came across someone experiencing homelessness and could buy them groceries or takeout from a restaurant. The day I finally had plans to leave my house, I remembered to grab the cash and I prayed that God would put the right person or people in my path. I was in downtown Seattle all morning and never came across a single person! I was honestly shocked, but I continued to keep my eyes peeled as I went home to the suburbs to do my grocery shopping. I was in the checkout line at Costco when I happened to hear the checker tell the woman at the register that her card had been declined again and she was $xx short. For a moment, I felt panic and I wanted to stay in the safety of the line while I weighed the pros and cons of blessing her in particular. But then I realized that I had a very short window of time in which I could intervene, and so I bypassed the several other people in line and handed her all of the money. She was so touched and unsure if she should take it and I told her that I had been looking for someone to give that money to and I just knew that it was meant for her. In the end, it was more money than she needed, but I was happy that it would be able to do even more good for her, and that the next time she used the cash, she would think of this moment. I quickly and quietly went back to my place in line and she checked out and left. There was a moment where I wished that I could have said more to her or done more, but the moment was so quick, and I realized that maybe it was better that way, so nothing could muddy-up the purity of the gesture. But several minutes later, as I left the checkout lane, I saw that she was waiting for me with tears in her eyes. I went up to her, and in-spite of COVID concerns, I gave her a huge hug. She said, "You taught me something today." And I again told her that I had been waiting for the right person to give it to, and I just knew that it was her. She said, "you'll never know what this meant to me. Thank you so much." And I told her "God bless. Go do something great."

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It caught me off guard that I had such a clear plan of what I thought I was supposed to do with the money, and then God made it so clear that he had other plans. I really had to fight the feeling of panic and fear that she would turn my help away. I live in a largely affluent suburb, and I was really worried that she would be offended and would turn down my help. I also had to shut myself down from overthinking to the point that I let the moment pass me by. I could have stopped to analyze her cart or what she wearing to deem if she or her purchases were worthy of the gift. But I am so, so glad that I pushed past the fears to follow through on what fell into my lap, because it was such an amazing feeling. The money was never mine, so I can't call it an act of generosity, but the act of being intentionally kind, in a rather big way, to a complete stranger, was so gratifying. I almost feel guilty for getting something out of it, but it certainly impacted me. I was as touched as she was by her kind response, and the fact that she waited for me so she could more personally thank me is something I will never forget. I felt a million feet tall when I left Costco that day, and I am determined to continue to look out for people every day who I can bless with intentional kindness, whether it's monetarily or not.

Soul 24: Alyssa

What does "being strong" mean to you? For me, being strong means developing resilience to life’s trials. One constant in life is that we will always have hardships, but that’s what develops character and strength. I grew up as a competitive figure skater and one of the main things you learn is that every time you fall you get back up again. That’s so true not just in skating, but in life as a whole.

How does family shape your perception of strength? I was born with asthma and life-threatening allergies. My parents easily could’ve raised me to have a victim mentality, but they put so much effort into making sure I felt like any other kid and that I could do everything other kids could do. I’ve never felt like a victim, even though it would’ve been very easy to. I’m so thankful to them for that.

How have your trials made you stronger? I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety for years, but they really came to a head in college. It’s been 6 years since then, and I still struggle, but I’ve had an amazing support system and have found ways to get out of the hole I feel like I fall into sometimes. It’s gotten easier and easier to not feel helpless and stuck. I’m able to have more resilience that has come with a lot of practice and support from family and friends.

Alyssa’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I have a friend who has been hit hard with the pandemic. She lost her job, has been dealing with health issues, and is still trying to pay off her student debt/medical bills on top of it all. It felt good to help in that small way and I think she really appreciated it.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? Honestly, it took a while to come up with how to use it because I don’t get to see her a lot so she wasn’t really on my radar. There seemed to be so many different ways to use the $100 and I couldn’t decide on how to ultimately use it. I prayed about it and she came to mind and I felt so at peace about my decision.

I’m so thankful to have been a part of this process! It felt amazing to be able to help my friend out. At first, it felt like such a small drop in the bucket, but I could see how much the small act of kindness meant to her. I’m thankful that I was really able to take the time to reflect on how I could help others and I hope to be able to continue.

Soul 23: Grace

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women?

You are seen.
You are known.
You are enough.
You are worth more than your body.
You are loved far more than you can understand.
You are treasured by God.
Read it again.

I have that note saved in my phone. I sometimes have to pray it 5-10 times before it sinks in. We are in a society that teaches us we aren’t enough. Consumerism lives on us thinking that, if I have “_____” I would be happy. If my hair, nails, skin, or body could look like her then I would be happy. It’s just not true. A strong woman said to me yesterday that our idols point to God because they will never fulfill us. We will always be wanting more. We don’t need more. God is enough and he treasures you. Read it again.

How can you be strong and vulnerable? I think strength is vulnerability. To be vulnerable is scary, especially in our hypersensitive cancel culture. It can be scary to share your story. I look up to those women around me who are strong enough to be authentic.

How have your trials made you stronger? I used to have the illusion that I didn’t deserve trials. That I deserved an easy life because I was a good person. That simply is not true. God is not why bad things happen to us, but he can bring beauty out of the most horrible situations. He can make us so strong and use our story to help support and strengthen those around us.

I was sexually assaulted at 16, and I often thought “why me?”. However every year after that abuse happened, God has put someone in my life that needed to talk about their abuse. Unfortunately, this is a shared experience for too many women. I have been able to share stories, tears, and healing with so many people in my life. God used our common pain to make us stronger together. This trial that I honestly couldn’t see how God could make better, he still brings beauty out of it.

Grace’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I used my $100 by blessing four people in my life with a little extra money for the holidays. I loved this project and really hope it brought a smile to their face for them to either bless themselves or pay it forward. I decided to use my money this way because those four people in my life bless me on a daily basis by showing up for me. They are consistently are kind and loving when I don’t deserve it. They help me be the strong woman I am today and I couldn’t see a more fitting way to use it.

What was the 'Intentional Act of Kindness' process like for you? For a minute I wasn’t sure how to use it and then it hit me that it didn’t have to be a big gesture just four small ones that spread a lot of joy!

Soul 22: Kirsten

How does family shape your perception of strength? Growing up I always thought my parents were strong, hardworking people. My dad started a business of his own, and my siblings and I each worked for him at one point or another. I suppose that’s one version of strength, to be physically strong to work out in a shop day in and day out, but there’s a lot more to strength than that. When I think of all the hardships we’ve gone through - as individuals and as a family, we’ve all become stronger because of it. I turn to my family during times of need, because their strength and resilience is what gets me through those tough days.

How have your trials made you stronger? I feel like through every obstacle life has thrown my way, I’ve learned from it. Through mistakes comes wisdom!

Kirsten’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? It took me a long time to figure out how I wanted to spend the $100. I put an unnecessary amount of pressure on my myself to figure out the best way to make an impact, because let’s face it - 2020 has been incredibly hard. In the end, I decided I would match the $100 with $100 of my own and support as many small businesses and individual makers as I could! Some were local to Portland, the PNW, and also from my home state of Wisconsin. It was so fun going out and selecting these items for the people I love most, and I can’t wait to give to them!

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? So much fun, and also so much more thought provoking than I expected. Each question really made me stop and think and take the time to reflect on each response. Sometimes it’s so easy to go through the motions of life and this project was a change of pace for me.

Soul 21: Danica

How did/does your culture shape your perception of strength? My sister and I are half Filipino and half Scotch-Irish.
Growing up, I was always aware of my dual-identity – whether it was being asked if I was adopted when my dad took us on field trips or if I spoke enough Tagalog to jump the security line at the airport. Truth be told, I thought I had a super power as kid because of my mixed ethnicity. My heritage hailed from opposite ends of the earth and the stories and the values I grew up with were a constant clash and harmony in my home. Bi-racial and bicultural families are not the product of peaceful, intellectual cool-headed understanding or absolutely mutual values. They are not the result of familiarity, but rather a particularly persistent strain love and strength that is stubborn and resilient. It is such because marriages like this are not without exceptional challenge and conflict, both which arose in and around my family.

It was hard for my red-headed, umpteenth generation American Dad to feel at home in the plastic covered, weird-smelling homes of my Filipino not-actual-blood-cousins of my mom. And likewise, my mother was acutely made aware of her dark skin and foreign look if we ever ventured far from the cities or the coast. Where we vacationed and which families we saw were always an emotional topic; but always handled with deference and grit.

I watched my parents love each other persistently and with much tolerance for one another and the homes they came from; in turn saw the fruits of patience and compassion grow in my sister and I. We internalized these examples of love and strength that were borne out of a love and respect our parents' showed to each others' heritages - and now they are ours and we are stronger for it.

What’s one thing someone could do today to make them stronger? My brother in law told us when we had our first kid that if we "lift our baby above our head once, everyday, until they were full grown, [we] would be significantly stronger in 18 years." The thought of lifting my adult child over my head always made me laugh and poke fun at him. But he has a point - there is a deep strength that comes with discipline and, I might venture to say, ritual.

Pick rituals that you intend and expect to maintain regularly, perhaps every day. Brushing your teeth is a good and important ritual that prevents dentist visits and damaged or uncomfortable byproducts. Brushing your teeth is a good ritual. An even better one is prayer. Meditation is a hot topic lately and that because the news is out about the health benefits of intention-setting and regular practices of mindfulness. Our ancestors and the Church Fathers saw the fruit of prayer and passed many beautiful practices, images, and writings down to us. One thing any given person can do to make them strong is to deliberately set a little time aside and join brothers and sisters in prayer.

When has your strength been personally challenged and how did you respond? I work in a difficult industry. Production of any sort is demanding, but creative production - particularly in commercials - can be a special kind of grueling. As you progress up the chain of command (if you are arrogant enough to do so!) the rules & roles get more fluid but the stakes get higher and expectations for the miraculous more common. For almost 15 years in my field, I have had one or two projects each year that I was sure would break me.

One such time was a particularly complicated situation where I was returning from maternity leave to find that my position had been downgraded and immediately appropriated to a particularly demanding project and function – one that required me to work, on site for on-call crew management 12-16 hrs a day over a week or so (and this only three months after giving birth!). I wasn't excited about this prospect, but I thought I could and should handle it, so show that maternity leave had not made me weaker while I was away.

But if the demotion wasn't a difficult enough pill to swallow re-entry, I was still pumping and the project was out of state. This was not the job that taught me to set boundaries and ask for support - though it should have been. Instead, I landed in Bay Area and excused myself from set to be available by phone call to my team while I pumped my breastmilk in my rental car, in an Oakland public bathroom, at the back of a college fabrication shop, and in the men's locker room. And on the days of the shoot, where my presence was needed the entirety of the 12 hour day, I didn't pump at all. I let my bra soak up the milk that I wasn't collecting and bit the inside of my cheek when the breeze blowing across my sweater sent my head swimming from the pain. I came home to an empty victory - no one died and the shoot happened, but I found my milk supply had been totally compromised and was disappearing. I realized that what I thought had been a show of strength was really just prideful stubbornness; and I had let it undermine my priorities.

I still make this mistake – but less often. Knowing my own strength is as important as knowing when and where to use it. The people I lend my strength to are receiving a gift – not because I am special or especially strong – but because it is a quality God imbued in me. It's not to be conflated with fleeting earthly gains, nor is it to be squandered.

Danica’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? This $100 bill is going to a young woman I work with, who is new to her adult and professional life and had her endeavors cut short by the closing of our industry due to COVID in March, 2020.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? I agonizing this entire month about how to give this gift away. When we were starting our family, the Recession hit and $100 was deeply meaningful. Receiving this gift during the tough times of COVID layoffs presented an opportunity to similarly bless someone, as we had been blessed. I thought about giving the money to an an institution that provided aid, as we had received years ago, but that felt so disconnected. I considered giving it to a business struggling to start and make something during this time when the economic odds were stacked against them - but I didn't want to imply debt or the necessity of productivity - that didn't seem to ladder up to "kindness." I thought about the pain I suffered as a 20-something in the Recession and how much I missed being able to ... well... buy ice cream. And that's when my recipient dawned on me.

This woman, being in her early 20s, is a few years from living at home and a couple years past having made the hard decision to drop out of college. When we met, she was living on a friends couch and had a neck injury from a car accident and had to leave her job as a caregiver for the elderly, which she was emotionally drained by; my husband, recognizing a similar disposition as his wife, suggested that she explore production and talk with me about trying it out. She immediately became known in our circles for her hard work, sunny disposition, and can-do attitude. She was hired week after week and was beginning to climb the ranks. For the first time she was going to rent an apartment, get her own credit card, and fix her car – but when the industry shut down, so did her momentum.

I was not immune to the shut down, either. We grew close over mutual lamentation of the piles of debt the first couple months of no work created; we tried not to strategize our survivals too much, lest we become despondent. But together we mined our industry relationships, searched and shared our knowledge of available unemployment and aid for freelancers, and bought each other groceries when we found little jobs here and there. I remember the familiar pain of choosing NOT to buy ice cream this summer, but sticking to the essentials. She also insisted we pray together - a funny kind of "directive" and role reversal, as I was supposedly the older, mentor to her vocational aspirations.

Our industry is opening back up now, and her reputation is intact; the work is starting to come in - but I realized it will be a long time before she can enjoy financial stability, let alone the abundance. I hope that she uses this unexpected $100 on ice cream – on something unnecessary and joyful, something beautiful and pleasing, and that it is a symbol of abundance. Because in the absence of a bed, a working car, and a reliable income, we lived in a rich abundance of each others wisdom, prayers, and company.

It just so happens, that (without any intention on my side!) she is receiving this gift on her birthday.

Soul 20: Lauren

How did/does family shape your perception of strength? I grew up with a single mother with 3 kids, she showed me that hard work and dedication can shape a great life. She was so strong for us even when I knew it was hard, we now live the best lives possible all because of her strength.

When has your strength been personally challenged and how did you respond? My strength was challenged when I was in a bad relationship, I didn't feel any self worth. I thought I deserved the things that were said to me. I ended up realizing I deserve better and worked out and stayed busy with friends and a year later now realized how much happier I am without that person. I have learned so much self worth.

Lauren’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I gave my $100 to one person close to me who just lost her job during the pandemic, I knew she needed it for groceries and essential items. I already wanted to help her out in any way possible and when this was given to me I knew I wanted to help her even more.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was a wonderful feeling; I love to help people in any way I possibly can. Even small gestures can make someone’s day and as soon as I gave her that money she looked at me and cried, I knew it was meant to be her to receive it.

Soul 19: Sarah

Who is a female role model in your life and why? I am blessed to come from a long line of very strong women. There are so many women in my life who I could mention but someone who has been my role model throughout my life is my sister. She has always held an unwavering sense of self. I go to her for advice probably every single day. She is discerning, hospitable, and a woman of integrity. From marriage, motherhood, friendship, and faith, she has modeled so much, so well.

How can you be strong and vulnerable? To be human is to be vulnerable. That's just part of our humanity - and it causes us to constantly be looking for a stronghold; something that makes us feel more secure. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a goal to achieve - but all those things are temporary. To me, that is what is so beautiful about faith and a relationship with God. In recognizing my weakness and accepting that in my humanity, I can't do life leaning on my own strength, I get to glean from His strength. A strength that's never ending and never failing.

Sarah’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I gave it to the pastor’s family of a church who, due to COVID-19, has lost their church building and many of their resources. I feel churches provide so much hope which is so needed, especially in these times. Pastors and their families give so much of themselves, their own resources, all their energy into others.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? So fun! And thought provoking. So many of the questions really caused me to search my heart and dig deeper!

Soul 18: Wendy

How can you be strong and vulnerable? I tend to be independent, to depend on myself to get things done. I think this stems from my childhood, my mom had to do so much around the house and especially when my dad was sick, my mom had to manage the running of the household, without much help from my dad. I was happy mowing lawns and doing yard work, not just doing household chores,  like vacuuming and dusting. As an adult I carry this same philosophy, but I appreciate my husband with all he does to help around the house, he is my rock. There are times when I need his emotional and moral support, when I realize I am not superwoman, and I can’t do it all by myself. I know when I am weak, my Savior is there for me every step of the way.

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? It is good to be independent, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself,  if you can’t do something on your own. It is ok to ask for help! Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Wendy’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I used my money for our COVID fund at church. I was hoping I would see how it helped someone in a particular way, but being at home with the quarantine, you are not having so much contact with people to find out what the needs are out there. After I donated my money, I kept hearing of different needs from individuals. The need to help others is always there, sometimes we may not have a connection to the situation, but God puts us where he needs us in order to spread his loving kindness.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? I was honored to be asked to do this by Kristen. I hope my story may have an impact on someone.

Soul 17: Tammi

What does "being strong" mean to you? Being strong has many facets. It includes confidence, emotion, knowledge, and competence. I find strength in educating myself, whether it be from reading a research article or a good book, or interacting with others to learn and share in the human experience. Over time this has helped me grow into a mature, open minded person.

How do you encourage other women to be strong? I love to approach and communicate with others, whether it be a simple greeting, giving a compliment, or inquiring about a specific topic. The confidence to come out and interact with others helps us share in our life experience and build a positive community of strong women. Even by sharing our experiences of weakness, the connection it builds makes us stronger.

Tammi’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I purchased items which would benefit individuals who live and rehabilitate at the skilled nursing facility that I work at.

I purchased 140 pencils, 80 pens, 50 notebooks, 12 pencil sharpeners, 14 calendars, 5 address books, 5 reading glasses and 5 magnifying glasses. The remaining $22.90 after purchasing those items was donated to the Activities Department at the facility, which works to provide quality of life enrichment to the residents.

I wanted the gift to touch as many people as I could, particularly those who are elderly, disabled, and often forgotten. Often individuals who come into nursing facilities for rehabilitation after a hospitalization come with almost nothing; very little clothing and often do not have their own essentials, such as their glasses, cell phone, or even the means to write things down. I often find myself searching for simple items such as a pen or notebook, or even a pair of reading glasses so that they can read a message from their doctor or insurance company. A lengthy hospitalization can also be disorienting, thus calendars are important to orient people and give a sense of planning for the future

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? This process may have been given to me, but in essence I was able to also share it with many others. Making a positive impact can have such a strong, lasting effect on my own and other individuals lives.

Soul 16: Michelle

How can you be strong and vulnerable? I think it takes strength to be vulnerable and vulnerability to be strong. Looking up the definition of vulnerable, the first thing I see is “susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.” Yikes! That sounds like something people usually try to avoid! It takes strength (and wisdom) to step out in a way that allows others an upper hand, so to speak. Sharing honestly about something that made you upset, acting on something you care strongly about, an idea you have, applying to a job...those are all vulnerable things. And they can change people, change situations, and change the world. I think about those who stood up for racial justice during the civil rights era in the US. They put themselves in a very vulnerable position when doing sit-ins, bus rides, marches. That took strength! I have spoken in a large setting several times, a few career-focused and a few faith-focused. I put myself out there, shared some of my own story, shared my ideas, not knowing what the response would be. That type of risk takes strength and vulnerability.

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? Life is not easy. We are not in control of our circumstances. All we can control (or at least try to control) is ourselves, our own attitudes and reactions to things. So my advice is to focus on that. Get rid of “should” and replace it with “want” or “need” or “will.” Don’t be afraid of emotions, just don’t let them control you. Be honest with yourself about what it is you really want and who you are, what your doubts and fears are, what your strengths and weaknesses are. Don’t try to hide or put on a perfect front. People are all imperfect and messy, but that doesn’t make us any less valuable. That just makes us human. Have compassion and kindness for yourself and others. In the end, we are all humans trying to make it the best we can.

What’s one thing someone could do today to make them stronger? : Take 5-10 minutes and sit (or stand or walk) in silence, no phone, music, tv, or other people talking. And listen to yourself. Listen to your mind, heart, and body. Is there anything you are feeling or thinking that you didn’t realize before? How does your body feel? Any tension you were unaware of? Is there any action you are prompted to take, whether reaching out to someone, asking for help, praying, doing something fun, apologizing, forgiving, just resting. Things can be so noisy today that we can lose touch with ourselves and get overwhelmed and driven by things around us. I think it is important to take that time to disconnect from all the noise and just be still.

Michelle’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I gave $50 to my local Habitat for Humanity chapter and $50 to the Native American Health Center (NAHC). Having a solid, stable home is such an important thing in life, and I love how Habitat for Humanity partners with people who need a good home to get them one. I donated to NAHC because it is my understanding that COVID-19 has disproportionately impacted Native American communities. So, I wanted to contribute to help with the response and support effort in those communities.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It took me a while to figure out where I wanted to give the money to. There are so many good causes and people in need. These are 2 organizations we had supported on a one-time basis before and I was so glad to be able to support them again!

Soul 15: Laurie

Who is a female role model in your life and why? My mother has been a role model to me. She has brought a lot of joy to myself and others. For example, when she was in her mid sixties, she led a line dancing class for senior women. They would perform in nursing homes and at a summer arts festival. Her group brought a lot of joy to the nursing home residents and the women in the group had a lot of fun themselves.

How can you be strong and vulnerable? Being vulnerable is risky. It takes courage, which is basically a strength of heart, to be vulnerable. When I am secure in myself and know that I have value, it’s easier to be open about who I really am, weaknesses and all.

Laurie’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100?

• My mother lives very far away from me. I wanted to bring joy to her day. She likes getting things in the mail. I spent $20 to send my mother macadamia nuts which she very much enjoys eating. My sister has been having some very painful and debilitating health issues for several months. I spent $40 to send her a care package. It included a book she likes, a cute zippered bag, some cough drops to ease the dryness of her mouth and a card. My mother and sister live so far away I don’t get to see them very often. I call and text but enjoyed being able to bring them joy despite the miles between us.

• Kristen’s friend Heather is blessing so many in Niger, Africa, I decided to send her the balance of the money along with an additional $100 from my husband and I. Heather is working many hours to help so many others and I hope this gift encourages her. I know she will use it wisely whether for personal needs or to help others.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was an honor to be a part of it. It helped me be more intentional in looking for opportunities to bless others. I received joy in being able to encourage them. My husband and I are planning on giving $100 to a friend of mine so she can experience the “Intentional Act of Kindness” process also.

Soul 14: Lauren

How have your trials made you stronger? When I was 15 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. It is a surreal thing to witness your mother, your caretaker, become so completely helpless and dependent on others for all of her needs. The day that she went into remission I remember every detail, from where I was sitting down to what the weather was like. As do I the day she told me the cancer returned. I was newly married, had an infant and lived a state away. For the next four years, I would travel back and forth to San Diego for weeks at a time to be with my mother and soak up as much time as I could. She passed away in 2012. This trial has continued to shape and strengthen me in ways I, at the time, could have never imagined. It strengthened my sympathy and allowed me to support and be a strength for others when they are going through difficult seasons. It has strengthened my understanding of God's goodness even when circumstances are anything but. It has strengthened my ability to have peace in the midst of anxious times. All of these things have led to an overall strengthening of who I am as a wife, mother and woman because I am able to offer myself more fully to those around me.

Who is a female role model in your life and why? My mentor Mary has been given the nickname "the velvet brick". She is soft and gentle, kind and caring but she is also tough as nails, won't back down from what she knows is right and true and good but the driving motivation is never to be right and always to be kind. Mary has taught me much of what I know strength to be. She has taught me humility, to extend grace, to know that we don't have every answer or know every situation and to advocate for others. She has taught me to face my challenges head on, to not shy away from speaking up for myself but to do so with a motivation of love because anything else is self serving.

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? When you are pushing hard after strength find a woman a little ahead of you that you admire, not to chase after her or compete with her but to learn, share and let yourself be shaped and challenged by her. When you invite her into your life, invite her all the way in. Share the hard, the beautiful, the scary and the shameful. Her strength comes not from navigating away from all of those things in her own life but through working them out in community with others. Allow yourself to be led, ask hard questions and let yourself be wrong.

Lauren’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? With the $100 that was given, I chose to buy gift cards for a woman I know who is continuing to work as an essential worker during this pandemic. The idea of a strong woman encouraged and inspired me to pick someone who embodied strength. I don't want to share too much of this person's story, but she is working hard and exhibiting strength daily. It was wonderful to be able to gift her with groceries and coffee.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? At first, I over thought it. I wanted to make sure that I was doing it "right". When I freed myself up from that expectation, it was lovely. It felt like such a gift to be able to pray through who the Lord wanted to bless through this process. He very clearly spoke and it was wonderful to have the means to just obey.

Soul 13: Bethany

How did/does family shape your perception of strength? I grew up in a family with very strong women. My great grandmother lived until she was 100 and very much ruled our family. She did so with dignity, grace, and an unwavering devotion to Jesus. We all tried to live up to her example. She was a hard worker, running a farm into her 90s. She was slow to speak and when she did, you knew you better listen - it was sure to be words of wisdom or an unexpected joke.

When she died, my family fell apart. My grandfather, her son, quickly began showing signs of dementia, an uncle left his wife, a cousin abandoned his family, secrets of sexual abuse among the family were finally shared, uncles and aunts exploded at each other and some still don't speak to each other 16 years later.
I began to understand that my 'God fearing family' didn't fear God, they feared Grandma's disapproval.

What keeps you strong in times of trial? Jesus, hands down, 100% Jesus keeps me strong.

How have your trials made you stronger? I was sexually abused as a young kid. I was old enough to understand that what was happening was wrong, but not old enough to know that I could fight for myself or say no to someone who I'd been told to respect. I remember thinking 'my mom is going to be so mad at me,' and shame set in. I spent most of my childhood living with a deep sense of shame and tried hard to hide all that felt messed up inside.

In my early 20s I began to experience heavy spiritual attack. I was afraid, confused, and calling out to God to make it all stop. As I prayed I felt God say "tell someone." I knew exactly what He was referring to, exactly what I had to share. I was terrified to open up. I finally shared with three close girl friends; the unanimous response was 'me too, and I've never been able to tell anyone.' I know that's a trending response right now, but 17 years ago it was not.

In sharing with others, I found freedom from my shame and I found that opening up about my pain could help others find freedom as well. Throughout the next few years, I experienced the 'nudge' to share my trials with others and EVERY time someone opened up 'for the first time.' I became thankful for that particular trial and the chance to see shame turn into freedom. I've tried to carry that into the rest of my life - being honest with things that, if kept inside, could create shame. I also became a fighter - I will fight for myself against abusive authority and I will fight for others.

Bethany’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use your $100? I gave my $100 to a friend from high school. She is a mother of five kids who has been dealing with a lot lately. Her oldest, a 12 year old, has been suffering from intestinal issues for years and has been undergoing a series of surgeries to correct it. They are facing a lot of medical debt as well as personal debt as they have made many sacrifices to get him to all of his necessary appointments. $100 is just a drop in the bucket but as I shared their go-fund-me online, I saw three others donate based on my share. It was amazing to see how my donation encouraged others to give as well. This family had been on my heart for a while but I had always hesitated, feeling like the little I would give wouldn't go far enough. I was wrong. Every little bit helps and my actions can encourage others to act as well.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was more difficult that I thought it would be. I feel like I hear of so many needs each day and it was not easy choosing. It was amazing to have the opportunity to have $100 set aside that I was required to give. It helped me see past all the excuses and rationalizations for not giving to a certain 'cause' or need. I had to give the money away - it wasn't mine to keep. It has changed the way that I now treat our finances. I have given more away these past few months than I have in a long time.

Soul 12: Tiana

How did/does family shape your perception of strength?: For me, my first perception of strength was by observing my mom and dad. I was raised by two hard working parents, so in my adolescence, a “strong person” was a diligent worker. Late adolescence I remember thinking that being strong was the ability to hold back tears so I could be “strong” for my sister while my parents were divorcing. Now, I believe that it takes immense strength to reveal vulnerable states to trusted people, a step that is important in the healing process. We are continually redefining and deepening our understanding of “strength” throughout different periods of life, new experiences, observing others, and particularly after rising up from the lows. So for me, family showed me a concrete aspect of strength, but most of my adult abstract perceptions of strength have come from learned experiences later on.

Who is a female role model in your life and why?: My Bachan (grandma)! Not only is she physically strong (shoveling feet of snow in her driveway in her 90s), she is also emotionally and mentally strong. Bachan grew up on a farm, and as a kid she was expected to do well in school and work on the farm. She didn’t have time to play. Her high school years were spent imprisoned at Heart Mountain, a Japanese internment camp. She lived through subsequent years of hateful racism for decades after the war ended. What does her life look like now? She drives her Japanese church friends to the casino once weekly, prepares meals for church members, watches her favorite sports teams on TV, and is loved dearly by her four kids and grandchildren. Life could be very different for her depending on her reaction to the hardships she faced. I admire her tenacity, graciousness, and patient nature.

When has your strength been personally challenged and how did you respond?: In my late teens and through my early 20s, I went to numerous doctor appointments in hopes to figure out why I was physically and mentally tired all the time. I had specialists who told me I was “just depressed”, that I was just “out of shape”, and that my mom had “caused my anxiety”. Four years later I was sent to Sleep Medicine and tested positive for Narcolepsy, a life-long sleep disorder characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness. At first, I was relieved to know that there WAS something physiologically wrong with me; it wasn’t just “in my head” – but after the relief wore off, resentment flooded in. Will I be able to continue on my pre-med track and be a successful doctor? Will my fatigue let me handle pregnancy? My questions were endless and life felt hopeless yet again.

After months of self-pity I told myself I had to move forward. This fatigued, foggy brained person is my new baseline and I need to learn how to love myself, and live life to the fullest. In this time, strength was turning my resentment into a new gratefulness for myself. It was appreciating the hardship associated with Narcolepsy because it left me with a greater compassion toward others struggling and hurting. Strength was also releasing my ego and applying to medical school despite having a considerably lower GPA than the average student accepted. It was persevering each day and liberating vulnerable tears when needed. It was doing my best but also reaching out for help.

Ask me again in five years when I am done with medical school and residency for answer part two.

Tiana’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I gave $100 to a young woman in my community. I knew I wanted to give the full $100 to a sole person. I wanted it to go to a woman, to recognize the strength she has shown despite continual barriers. I wanted it to go to a humble, kind-hearted, tenacious person. My partner is very involved in the Bellingham community and recommended a very deserving beneficent.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? Fun! It's not every day that you get to hand $100 to a person you just met. I look forward to seeing how others use the "intentional Act of Kindness" and the number of different communities this project will touch!!

Soul 11: Ashley

What does "being strong" mean to you? Being strong can mean so much! It’s not just physical bodily strength (although it certainly can be! #girlpower), but strength of character as well. To me being strong means doing the right thing, even when it is hard. Consistently choosing better. Whether that is speaking up against injustice when no one else is, or being faithful to your commitments even when you’re tired and would prefer to skip out.

How do you encourage other women to be strong? Seeing others’ strengths and calling them out, in a real and genuine way. Women can be so terrible with comparison. Why do we do that to ourselves?? We compare our bodies, our parenting, our spouses, marriages, houses, careers (or lack of)... it’s toxic. But when we truly see the strengths in another woman and, rather than be jealous or intimidated by them, choose to encourage that aspect of her... that draws out the strength of individuals in a beautiful way.

Ashley’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I was able to gift it to a family who was moving and had huge financial needs. The Lord brought them to mind! It was also Christmas time and they were not sure how they were going to be able to get gifts for their children. This was able to help!

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? Really fun! It is such a joy to be able to give to others who were in need and be a conduit for Jesus to love them and meet practical needs.

Soul 10: Rose

How did/does family shape your perception of strength? I perceived strength to be the ability to get your way or influence decisions to be favorable to you. In my family of origin, the person who was the loudest or the most stubborn was most likely to get their way. This led me to believe that I had to make things happen for myself and that ultimately everyone was out for their own best interest. It also led me to never want to be the “weaker” partner in a marriage.

In my own marriage, I have learned that these tendencies of mine from my family of origin are toxic and destructive to a mutually flourishing marriage. It sounds silly but it still blows my mind that my husband regularly seeks out things that are for my own best interest. Through my husband’s example, I am learning that leading out of humility and being vulnerable can be incredibly powerful. I am so grateful that my marriage is challenging and changing what I perceive strength to be.

Who is a female role model in your life and why? My grandmother. She modeled a life of faithfulness to Jesus in the face of impossible circumstances. She refused to renounce her faith in Jesus during Japanese occupation (Korea was annexed by Japan for 30 years. While many atrocities were committed, the persecution of Christians was the most severe). When newly formed North Korea revealed freedom of religion would no longer be allowed, she left everything (e.g., her family/friends, ancestral land, wealth/privilege, a comfortable life) to flee to South Korea where she could worship God freely. In South Korea, she lived decades in abject poverty in a refugee camp and continued to believe in a good and faithful God (while losing children to death and poverty). She believed this God was so good, so faithful, indeed—the source of life itself, that he was worth losing everything for. He was worth it all.

In her life, I also see the incredible faithful of God in providing, protecting, and blessing her descendants. I have been so blessed beyond words to intimately know the same God, but also, to be a recipient of such immeasurable grace in Jesus and incredible tangible blessings.

She was a woman of faith, of strength. A woman who lived a life of surrendered trust to a God who showed himself good, faithful and worthy of it all.

Rose’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? My heart is just broken for those that are hurting and suffering right now. My hope was that these funds would help bring hope to others.

• I gave $38.01 to Korean American Family Services to help fund and maintain a 24/7 crisis hotline, which has doubled in calls from domestic violence victims sequestered at home with their abusers due to COVID-19 restrictions. As a Korean American survivor of domestic violence, I yearn for others who are struggling with domestic violence and brokenness to find hope.

• I spent $11.99 to purchase a book for a young woman. I came across a Facebook post on a mommy group where a young woman I did not know shared her hurts and pains about being a new mother to two young children. My heart broke for her and I really desired to share with her the hope and comfort I had in Jesus. I had a difficult time engaging her via Messenger, however, since we were both so busy with our children. But she was very interested in reading a book I recommended. It gave me a lot of joy to purchase and send her a copy of Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments.

• I contributed $50 to a friend who is starting a YouTube channel focused on making Bible teaching more accessible to millennials. With all that is going on, I believe more than ever that our eyes need to be pointed back to the hope that can only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus. Also, due to COVID-19, he is currently without a job. It gave me a lot of joy to give to a friend who I knew and deeply trusted.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? I was surprised by how strongly I desired to engage in long and careful consideration over the spending of the $100. Perhaps because I felt I was spending on someone else’s behalf, I really wanted my giving to be heartfelt and deeply meaningful. There were times where this exercise felt like a burden (because of my limited availability). But, having gone through the exercise process, I’ve grown not only in knowing myself but also in knowing what brings me joy. Thank you for this opportunity to participate. It has been such a blessing!

Soul 9: Stephanie

How do you encourage other women to be strong? I have been given a platform to reach out to a younger generation of ladies. As a high school soccer coach, I am able to influence a large number of high school girls. I encourage them to be strong by helping them be confident in who they are. It is important for them to know that other people do not set their identity. When a young girl believes in herself and is able to not let the world influence the way she sees herself, that is true strength.

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? Advice that I would give to the next generation of strong women is don't be afraid to be yourself. If you are a female that enjoys sports, don't let the world tell you it’s manly and you shouldn't play sports. There are people who think women should fit a certain norm, but it is ok to be a variety of things. You can be sporty and girly at the same time. You don't have to fit one mold. Be proud of who you are and the abilities you have been given. God made you the woman you are for a reason and be confident in that.

Stephanie’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I used the $100 for a coworker whose house burnt down and lost everything. I can’t imagine only being left with the clothes on my back and nothing else. I thought giving the money to my coworker would be very meaningful to him, in his loss. I know the money can’t replace all that was lost, but it was a small way to show that someone cares and wants to help in even the smallest possible way.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was rewarding to help someone that had just gone through such a huge life changing moment. I know there are so many people out there that are in need and just knowing a small act of kindness can impact someone’s life makes me want to see how I can be there for other people that are struggling.

Soul 8: Rachel

How have your trials made you stronger? My trials have played a huge part in developing who I am today. They’ve built into my life passion, perseverance, and deeper character change that has gone far beyond the surface behavior change I could ever have changed on my own. And with each trial it has deepened my relationship with Jesus and because of that, has in turn, made me stronger.

What advice would you give to the next generation of strong women? You are enough. Don’t compromise who you are for someone else's opinion or love. In today’s society, there are plenty of apps, social media forums, and magazines that will gladly define you if you let it. Know where and who your self-worth and value comes from. Embrace your weaknesses and allow them to make you strong and build your character.

Rachel’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100?

• $50: I chose to spend the first $50 on gas for someone to go see their loved one in the hospital 3 hours away. His wife was just admitted to the ICU and money was tight for them. As I was speaking to him, I felt like I was supposed to help out in some way.

• $50: For the second $50, I chose to bless some foster care families within my community. I bought 3 gift cards ( 2-$15 and 1-$20) to give to foster moms. Fostering can be a lonely gig. It’s hard to parent a child that you will love forever, but have to say goodbye to. They bless so many kids, that I wanted to in some way return that blessing to them.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? It was truly an honor participating in the Intentional Act of Kindness! It made me pause and really think about how I could be intentionally kind to those around me. It took the focus off me and opened my eyes to the needs of those around me. And even though the $100 has run out, I’m still going to look for ways in which I can be intentionally kind to those inside and outside of my community.

Soul 7: Cassee

How did/does your culture shape your perception of strength? : I grew up around some very strong Filipino women. When my birth mother left my dad and I, my grandma (my dad’s mom) helped raise me. She is a very “strong” Filipino woman. My dad met my step mom when I was 5 and she was also a “strong” Filipino woman. Not to mention all the aunties I saw around me who were also “strong” Filipino women. So I would say that my culture growing up was matriarchal with a lot of “strong” Filipino women around me.

So what did it mean to be a “strong” Filipino woman growing up? It meant being the rock for your family and not letting emotions get in the way of leading your family. Crying was a sign of weakness. It meant managing the household finances and disciplining the children. It meant always having the final say. It meant avoiding any issues to keep the peace in the household. It meant not talking about hard things and sweeping issues under the rug. Women in my culture felt pride and dignity in living out this perception of strength.

As I began to shape and form my own definition of strength, I experienced a lot of tension between what I had seen growing up and what I was discovering. My view of strength shifted from never showing any sign of weakness, to in my weakness there is strength because of Jesus. This continues to be a struggle for me but when I stay true to this belief, I know it only makes me stronger.

How have your trials made you stronger?: The biggest trial I have endured throughout my whole life is the abandonment I experienced from my mother as a baby. Since I was taught to push my feelings down and move on with life, this trauma came out in many ways throughout my life including depression, crippling anxiety, people-pleasing, and major avoidance just to name a few. I have had to learn to face my pain and hurt and that has made me stronger every time something comes up that is rooted in my abandonment. I’ve learned to accept the hurt and work through it instead of trying to avoid it. Every time I have to do this, it creates growth which for me, increases strength. When I learn something about myself and grow from it, it makes me feel stronger to face the next trial to come.

Cassee’s Intentional Act of Kindness

How did you use the $100? I decided to give my $100 to a missionary who expressed a financial need on social media for some medical bills. She is literally counting on the generosity of other people to live, survive, and do what God is calling her to in San Francisco. I think that is extremely admirable and brave. She does ministry in the most dangerous part of the city with the most crime and drug abuse (The Tenderloin for those who know the Bay Area). She is young, single and SO brave! She works with women and children there to share Jesus and love with them in many different ways through her ministry.

What was the ‘Intentional Act of Kindness’ process like for you? This process was honestly more difficult than I thought. I realized a lot of interesting things within myself. Since it was someone else's money that was given to me to give to someone else, I kept doubting every place that I wanted to give it. What if that isn't a worthy cause? What if it is not a good use of the money? But I had to realize that the whole point I was given the money was because I was trustworthy enough to steward it well.

I also had a hard time finding people "in need" of the money. I realized that people don't always talk about their financial situations openly because it's such a vulnerable thing. Also, that living in the suburbs of Portland, the term "need" is relative AND working from home limits my interactions with people outside my community. So it was difficult finding a place to give the money. I ended up giving it to someone outside of this area because I felt like the need was greater and I know what it's like living in San Francisco on a low income. I felt compassion and empathy for her which was the motivation in deciding to give the $100 to her.

Overall, it was a really neat and interesting experience. It really stretched me. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone and really got me thinking about money and generosity in a different way. I've never experienced anything like someone else giving me money to give to someone else so it was definitely a new experience for me.